Falling stars.

February 16, 2012

To you;

Filed under: life — evaaysw93 @ 5:26 pm
Tags: ,

Ever since we broke off, I kept telling you go to find a new girl. Oddly, it never hit me that you would find a new replacement fast.

Even though you had found my replacement, you don’t have to tell me everything about her. About how she crinkles her goddamn nose and she looks cute like that, or how she sounds when she wakes up. I get it. And it only adds salt to the wound.

I guess I wasn’t good enough for you, eh? And we were not really that good together anyways.

But hey, you made me realize something. You made me realize what an asshole you are. And that truly, was an eye opener for me.

Who the fuck, screams at people for no reason? Or better yet, blame them for things they didn’t even do or know about it?

You do.

And when I do that, I get screamed at instead, And then we start fighting, again. Doesn’t it tire you?

I guess it does.It tires me out like nobody’s business. But don’t you ever know when to give up? I don’t think so.

So here’s my final letter to you, after being with you for 5 months, and for being in an off and on relationship for 3 months.

I guess we weren’t just compatible, eh? We were like two same jigsaw puzzles. Yes, you were there when I needed comfort. But were your words comforting?

No. They weren’t. They made me feel worst instead. And throughout the entire relationship, I felt like I was choking. It was a constant struggle between peace and war. One moment we’d be holding hands and laughing at silly jokes, the next we’d be fighting about what one of us spoke about. You think it’s amusing when I speak sarcastically? Well, aren’t you being clever. At least you don’t understand some of my insults.

Yes, I’ll admit. You’re caring, and protective. But you’re only good as a friend, not a lover. And even though you’re going to hate me for typing this, guess what, big guy? I. Don’t. Care. Straight up. And you have mood swings. Like a bitch. Everyone has that, I’ll agree. But yours is more exaggerated than others. So I don’t want to watch a movie with you or have to cancel last minute on you because of personal reasons. You show your temper. But you always follow me when I go shopping because “I don’t want you to go alone,” and when I tell you not to, you show your temper.

I’m not complaining to the world about your flaws, I’m just merely blogging about why we weren’t compatible.

But I guess you won’t care about this, eh? Since you got yourself a new girlfriend  the same day you told me you moved on, I stopped hoping on you. Maybe some day you’ll look back and think of me, but I sure as hell won’t because, you’re an ass.

There are so many vulgar words I’d like to tell you straight to your face, but you’ll just twist and turn it. So what’s the point? I don’t see any reason of us getting back together anymore.

And I wish you all the best in your new relationship, you asshole.

December 31, 2011

The last day of 2011.

Filed under: life — evaaysw93 @ 3:59 pm
Tags: , ,

31st December 2011. How time flies. Last year, I was at Genting, celebrating New Year’s with my two friends and my ex. Little did I know that change was definite during the upcoming year.

I started 2011 with the break up with the ex. Horrible as it was, I still moved on, believing that there were better guys out there than the asshole of a guy. Days passed on, and I bid farewell to friends who had to move overseas to continue their tertiary education. Distance did not do any harm to our friendship as we communicated via Skype and messaged each other on Facebook, sharing our daily stories and whatnot, amusing each other at the same time. But somehow or rather, distance found a way, breaking friendships and long conversations were shortened to short ones.

Received our SPM results and even though they weren’t good, but hey, at least I had survived through SPM! Aha. Got my driving license and became the family’s temporary driver, dad’s especially, and the KL drivers are ruthless people. They simply worm and weasel their way into any empty space just so that they can be ahead of the jam, rushing back to their homes and offices.

During April, I received one of life’s greatest treasures; a pet baby tortoise. Not only did she convert me into a tortoise lover, she also taught me to be a patient person as I took care of her and another pet tortoise. But, God loved her more, and she left us after 5 months. That was one of the darkest days in 2011 for me and till this day, I still miss her more than ever.

 Hey Izzie, take care wherever you are. I hope you’re somewhere safe and that no one can harm you. I miss you more than ever each day. Stay hyper, alright? 🙂

Entered college during May, and met a handful of people which made my college days and classes. Suffice to say, you guys are my little rocks, and I do sincerely apologize if I don’t talk much to you much these days. Hours became days, and friends who had left for education overseas came back during their breaks. Hanged out with them, and shared precious memories, another of life’s gifts, with each other.

Days became months, and college became tougher. I started working, and it sure did give me some experience with children. I can say, it isn’t easy working with them. Because once they don’t get their ways, you know you’re definitely in trouble 😉 so better watch out! Aha.

More friends left as the months passed by, mainly because for their education. But, as usual, we kept in touch with the help of technology. New relations were built as well, drawing us closer than before, teaching about the ways of life in ways that we could have never imagined.

But, I could safely say for now, 2011 has definitely been memorable for me, partly because it had opened up my eyes to so many things that I could have never imagined back in high school. Parting with my high school friends and meeting new friends was definitely NOT on my list, but hell, it happened. And even though I had regretted in maintaining several friendships, I had gained new and better yet, awesome friends along the way who not only love everyone for who they truly are, but also insulting them like crap along the way. You guys know who you are 😉 I love you to bits. ❤ and the best part was, 2011 changed me into a better person. 🙂

Resolutions for 2012? Well, they haven’t been made, but they will be, during the year. And as I type, I hear the crackling sounds of fireworks. Happy new year to you all dear readers, and have yourself a blast during 2012! The world isn’t going to end, even though there has been predictions about it. So, if it is, then party everyday like there’s no tomorrow and face your challenges with courage that you have. God bless always ❤

December 10, 2011

Life.

Filed under: life,random — evaaysw93 @ 7:51 am
Tags: , ,

Suddenly felt the strong urge to blog, even though I’m in the midst of doing my finals. Three papers down, one more to go then it’s play time! 🙂

I was talking to my neighbor a while ago about life. I went out to let Shelby exercise, since she usually doesn’t have the chance to do so during the weekdays and I saw him polishing his cars. We chatted for a while, about my college life, course, his work and the usual whatnots. When we stumbled across the friendship topic, he told me this; people change. Just move on and even though they may have forgotten you, but at least you were once friends with them. Never forget who they were to you before, may they be your close pals, acquaintances or just friends.

I nodded my head, as to show him that I understood the meaning of what he said. Granted, I would have never imagined not talking to my close friends back when I was in secondary school. I got to see them 5 times a week, sharing stories and jokes, with minor fights along the way, not to piss anyone off but just for the sake of fun. We would then laugh about it and make fun of that person who got annoyed about it, and poke fun at people, making them ‘learn’ about things they did not know about. Oh well, the humor of a bunch of 17-year-olds are very much known by everyone, right? The dirty jokes, and the immaturity of single people poking fun at those who were in a relationship, who brushed them off as easily as brushing dust off their clothes and laughed along with them. Yes, those were the best times in school and we said that we would never, ever stopped talking like that to each other.

Sooner or later, one by one stopped talking to each other. The noisy ones still talked to each other, but the quiet ones mixed with themselves and ignored the noisy ones, thus sort of segregating the classmates. Although we do arrange for outings together, but many failed to show up due to wrong timings, or the laziness they felt inside. After all, why bother to go out when you can create a group and chat with the members inside it? But, deep down inside, we all changed slowly. At first, it was those who entered college earlier. After a few months of talking and spamming the other ex-classmates, they soon stopped because of their exams. Then, they seldom kept in touch because they were too preoccupied with their lives. The rest followed suit, but we still arranged outings and whatnots just to see each other physically and commemorate the memories we had in class last year.

Funny thing about us people, we do change. Heck, the world is changing, in ways we ourselves can never dream of. The polar bears in the north are dying due to global warming. The ice bergs are breaking, and recently a huge piece of ice berg was found floating near Australia. That incident was certainly not anticipated by many people, even the scientists. The world is getting hotter, and many are falling sick due to the weather. We once said to go green but I don’t see many trying. Yes, I do see some people bringing their own bags when they do their grocery shopping at the markets, but not many do that. Only about 1 in about 5 people would do that. I myself bring my own bag out, no matter what day it is. If I forgot, I just stuff the small items into my handbag and if needed, I would ask for a plastic bag to place the bigger items in it. I then use the plastic as my rubbish bin’s plastic bag to cut down on the usage of plastic. We all know, that even though the world was as perfect as we envisioned it to be like, but deep down inside, the desire of men cannot be really and truly be filled to the brim. 50 years ago, the world had more flora and fauna compared to now. The reason? Men wanted to commercialize their companies, and build better homes and to also make people’s lives better. Not to say that I do not support that, I really do, but now when you look at it, deforestation is one of the world’s biggest problems. Many are choosing to recycle rather than not to, just to save the Earth. If we really do carry on with activities that not only would destroy Mother Nature, we would only bring disaster to ourselves. The question now is; how long would it take for us to self-destruct?

July 26, 2011

Growing up.

Filed under: life — evaaysw93 @ 8:40 am
Tags: , ,

For the past 18 years, I have never worked before (unless if you count babysitting baby cousins and housework in,that is). People have told me about their working experiences, and often, I think about what they say.

“You stand in the supermarket for 8 hours, promoting crap that nobody wants. Is that the job you want? For me, I was forced to. It’s because I want to earn some extra pocket money.”

“Being a part timer, it’s really hard, especially when you have to juggle between your studies and work. It’s not an easy life, but heck. Why not suffer and enjoy later? That is what I would advice my children in the future.”

As quoted by Grant M.Bright, we reap what we sow. Which is generally quite true. In real life, if we don’t strive for what we want, we’ll have to wait for light years for it to come, which means you’re going to have to wait like some donkey. Right now, the most important thing on everyone’s priority list is..money. And no, it’s not love anymore. Most people who have money end up dying single because they have worked for their money and not letting their money work for them. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? But, that’s just how the world works. For me? I’m letting my money work for me, and I work for my money as well. So it’s kind of a win-win situation 🙂

Looks like it’s finally time to grow up already, isn’t it?

March 29, 2011

Confessions.

Filed under: personal — evaaysw93 @ 8:01 am
Tags: , ,

Is it just me,or is it the old feelings popping up at times when I don’t want to think about you,especially during times when I read my old blog posts?You’ve definitely left a mark somewhere in my heart,and I REALLY want that mark to leave me alone so that I won’t succumb to the voices in my head screaming at me inwardly to call and check on you so that I won’t feel worried about you.

Why is it just so hard not to care for someone,especially if he or she used to be your best friend?Or someone who used to be your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Please,just leave me be.Don’t bother talking to me,because it just makes the wound hurt even more than ever.

This song reminds me of you so much.But maybe it’s because I kind of miss you.

March 8, 2011

Changes.

Filed under: life — evaaysw93 @ 4:50 pm
Tags: , ,

It’s already 12.30 am,and I’m still awake,even though I have my driving lesson later in the morning at 9.Somehow,I had this really weird feeling to blog at this moment,but now..it’s gone.Talk about blogging mojo,heh.

Was talking to a friend earlier,and it seemed to me that life has changed in many ways,may it be big or small and it seemed to her that she hadn’t notice what had happened.To cut things short,life doesn’t always go the way you want it to be like.When I was younger,I thought the world really depended on us.Truth is,we humans depend on the Earth.What with the recent earthquake in Hawaii and Christchurch,New Zealand,etc,I’d say we pretty much hurt Mother Nature and it’s pay back time for her?

I’m not exactly looking down on those who have high opinions on upgrading our lives.It’s just that we use so much chemicals in our daily lives and maybe it’s time to cut down on them already.Remember those times when our grandparents used to tell us about their lifestyles back in the 50/60’s?

“You know hor girl,last time where got computer or handphone wan.We all talk to each other face to face.Now got this and that,haih.Very complicating for an old man you know?”I heard this when I was on the LRT with my mom.The old man was talking to his granddaughter who looked no more than 14 and was texting on her phone.She mumbled something incoherent and continued texting.The old man heaved a loud sigh  and turned around to look at the scenery,a sad look in his eyes.Somewhere in between for him,life had taken a turn and it was giving him a hard time.

Fact is,no one can control their own lives and destiny.If we would,then I’d say there wouldn’t be a need for gods to be prayed to anymore.And I’m sure everyone would like to try to undo at least one mistake they did in their lives.But that’s how we learn-forgive and forget.

PS;For those I have offended,I genuinely apologize.I too,have respect for God and every type of religion there is out there,but I don’t mean to discriminate anybody.

PS;Old people are cool.Just hang around them more often,and you may never know,you’ll find a special bond in between you and your grandparents!;) I sure did.

Sometimes,that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand-So Small,Carrie Underwood.Inspirational song,much?;)

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.