Falling stars.

February 3, 2012

Memories.

Filed under: life — evaaysw93 @ 3:14 pm
Tags: ,

Hello, world! Did you miss me? I did, but I didn’t manage to have the time to blog about the recent happenings in my life.

So, Chinese New Year just ended, and I’m surprised to say that I received the most ang pao money this year compared to the other 17 years of my life. You see, according to tradition, the older one is, the lesser ang pao money they are suppose to receive. But maybe it was because I added the winnings of the gambling game I had with my relatives. Hmm. Either way, it’s still a lot of money, and I’m not complaining about it! 🙂

When I was at my uncle’s place, my aunt brought out photographs of us in Bangkok and we looked through every single on of them thoroughly, as to check and point out our flaws in the photos. Whilst chortling and teasing those in the photographs, a sudden thought went through my mind; what if we were just a fragment of everyone’s lives? I mean, sure, we all are living things, so we can’t really be considered as a fragment nor be called one. But what if we just passed through people’s minds? One moment we really do matter to them, and the next, we mean nothing at all? What if we were just a fragment of their memory?

Sometimes when I see people at printing shops holding photos that has just been printed out, chortling and pointing at the photos, I would stop for a while and wonder; would they still remember the person in the photo that they had captured in say, maybe 10, 20 years’ time? Or would they ponder upon it and give up if it’s too hard of a task for them? Or would the frozen images in the photograph make them smile and reminisce about those good old times you once had? Not to mention, would it make you wonder about what were they doing  at that exact moment? Or even to call them and surprise them?

Whenever I look at old photos of my parents and of me and my brother when we were growing up, I would point at some random person and ask my mum, “Hey, who’s this? Have we met this person before?” My mum would give the same answer,”Yes, but you were just a baby that time. You wouldn’t remember their faces, what more their names,” Heck. I’ve seen the faces of so many people in my parents’s photo album but I’ve never ever seen them in real life nor have my parents even called them to ask about their lives now, let alone visit them.

So, I hope that whenever I glance down at this photo in the future, I’ll still be in touch with her.

Dear C,

I know you’ve gone through so much hardship back last year, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you all the time. Even though we lived so close but yet we don’t often go out much, which pretty much sucks because knowing both of us, we can never stop talking if we hung out all day. And the shopping, can get pretty crazy. You’ll always be my best criticizer, no matter in what I do, and I’m proud to say that you’re my best friend. No matter what people think of you, screw that shit because we both know that we cannot satisfy everyone’s needs. Enjoy Sydney, and I know you’ll make it through and get that double degree. I have confidence in you!

Even though I won’t be able to hang out with you every week or so, but hey, there’s still skype, right? I’ll definitely call you to update you about every single thing. And it’s been so long since we’ve met, right? Primary school! That’s a pretty long time ago.. Heck, it’s been 9 years since we’ve been together as friends, and we’ll count many more years together, right? Throughout thick and thin we still stayed together as friends, and I’m sorry if I ever neglected you during those times when you needed a shoulder to cry on.

I’ll definitely miss you. And no, I won’t forget you, because you’re simply irreplaceable in my heart.

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January 7, 2012

Gifts.

Filed under: personal — evaaysw93 @ 6:54 pm
Tags: ,

I was browsing through a junior’s blog earlier, and I noticed that in her posts, the tone of bitterness towards others was there in each and every one of them. Not to be rude, but I felt that she should just relax a tad more and take a breather to enjoy life as it is because life as it is now is like receiving a gift from God. We may never know what will happen to us in the future, so why fret and be bitter about what’s going to happen later then?

Some of you may beg to differ and say,”Why don’t you want to know what lies in your future? I do, that’s why I want to work hard and stay preservered for my future so that I know how to handle it well and not panic.” Me? I just take life as it is. It doesn’t mean that I don’t work hard to keep my life the way I want it to be, I do. I simply don’t show the cracks to anyone else and whine about things I cannot change with my own will. I cannot simply change the way of how someone thinks about something. What if they were right and I was wrong? The most famous question that many people would usually ask themselves before doing something; what if.

What if I didn’t take that chance? Would I regret it?

What if he didn’t help that old lady? Would she be alright without his help?

What if I didn’t help that lady on the wheelchair? Would she be better off without my help?

What if I didn’t donate money to them? Would other people help them out?

What if I didn’t appreciate today and procrastinate on it instead of trying to make it better? Would I regret it? 

Dammit, I would. I would grab that day  or chance by its neck and try to make it better, no matter what it took me. Happiness, is one of life’s precious gifts. Why should we waste it on something negative instead of something positive? By having happiness, everything looks better, and brighter too.

On the way back from work earlier, my mum interrupted my thoughts abruptly by bringing up the subject of vehicles and getting me one by this year, hopefully before my birthday. To be honest, I actually don’t mind if I don’t own one. Even though I had my driver’s license since last April, I didn’t really drive around much, except to get my daily items at the back of my housing area, and to shopping malls, where one of my parents would accompany me and drive the car back to the house. I thanked my mother and said that there was no rush in getting me one as we had to think of where to park the car. Plus, was it even relevant? I asked myself. Would it make me a happier person? Nah, I answered my own thoughts. It would make me feel normal, on the inside and the outside. Even though I’m not a huge fan of public transportation, but I do laugh at those who would drive around in circles at parking lots in hopes of getting a place to park their car.  But then again, I sometimes wished I had a car to drive me around so that I don’t have to wait for the bus to come nor trouble people to pick me up from my house or send me home. Oh, the contradiction of life. You want it, but you gotta work for it. Another of life’s valuable gifts in teaching us juniors the ways of life, eh? 🙂

Even though life is tough for many of us, but hey, it’s a gift. No matter what type of fix you are in right now, always know that God is out there somewhere guiding you into a better future. 🙂

 

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