2 AM.

It’s been so long since I last blogged in here, I practically forgot that I had an account in WordPress. When I was looking through some random mails in my email, I came across several emails from WordPress, notifying me about some things. Curiosity took over me, and here I am, blogging in this old old blog.

Heh.

So much for not sleeping yet huh. I’ve missed blogging here because it feels just so right. Not to say that I don’t enjoy using other blogging websites, but WordPress just gives a nice feel. Don’t you think so? Heh. It’s just like you can write on and on about whatever’s on your mind without looking at annoying widgets at the side, which looks more fascinating than your train of thought and your fingers mysteriously move from the keyboard to the mousepad, mousing over the icons and suddenly you’re navigating away from the page.

Bummer 😦

Just finished my workout, and gonna cool down for a bit before I plug in my bed time music and enter my own realm of happiness. I have a pretty good feeling about tomorrow 🙂

Heh. Till then, good night!

XX

Hello; Part 1

A simple word, yet uttered so many times everyday that we can’t keep track.

What does it mean?

To many, it sounds like a greeting. To some, it sounds like hope. And to others, it sounds friendly.

I find “Hello” a strong word. You see, that’s how I make friends.

Generally, I would just grunt in response to whoever who says it to me and expect a frown or another grunt back. I don’t even expect a clap on the back or a high five, nah. That’s not how I do it.

I’ve yet to introduce myself. How rude of me. Soo..

Hello. *insertgrunt.

I’m Yvonne. But people call me Yve, or the grunter, because I grunt to everything.

I’m sixteen. Sweet sixteen? Not a chance, sweetheart. I only got a slice of cake on my birthday, and that was it. No MTV nonsense like you see on the TV. Unless if you can spend like a few thousand dollars on it. 

I keep all to myself. No secrets, no harm. That’s also how I got my other nickname, the antisocial one. Yeah, go figure. Anyways,I prefer looking at people, staring at them.

Judging them from their attire, attitude, looks- you name it, I’ve judged it all.

So yeah, that’s about it.

At the end of the hour, I’ve already made a long list on my mind on who I want to look at and who I want to watch out for. It’s harsh, but hey baby, you just gotta do it to believe it.

It’s not useless if you think about it. It actually helps you to keep an eye on. And to observe human nature.

In case you’re wondering, I don’t stare at people from my window. I’d rather sit out on a sunny day and watch people from a brick wall from an abandoned house, which I’d like to call my own. The wall, I mean. Not the house. There were rumors going on that druggies use that house or something like that. Not my cup of tea.

So there I was one fine day, waiting and sitting on my usual brick of a wall, swinging my legs back and forth and taking a sip out of my cola for the 900th time when suddenly,

“Oh hello, young lady! Don’t you be swinging those legs of yours and drinking that soda. Ain’t good for your health!” 

Stunned to the bottom of my seat, I fearfully turned around and saw this dear old lady with a bamboo walking stick smiling and waving her hand at me, as though I was just another random kid on the street, caught eating too much Cheetos. I said “Yeah, sure!”, ensuring a smile followed after my words, jumped off my wall and walked back home, the place which I loathed the most.

The smell of weeds welcomed me as I entered my driveway, overlooking the porch with its pathetic pot of plants with weeds growing in them. I kept my head low and turned the doorknob clockwise, making a loud click sound as I opened it.

The next thing I heard was;

“Hello dear, you must be Monique’s daughter. How lovely to see you!”

 

 

As I promised, I said that this would be the place where I’d write tiny short stories for you guys. 

If you guys liked this, please leave some comments, and hopefully I’ll get some feedback from you guys! 🙂 

Thank you 🙂 

Removal of memories.

Oh, hi.

Missed me? I certainly do miss writing in wordpress.

But, I have a very legit reason why I haven’t updated in a VEEEEEEERY long time.

It’s hard to choose between your two favorite items. It’s a tough decision to make, alright, but we always choose the one which’ll benefit us the most in the end.

Ever since I started using wordpress, I feel like there’s something more to it. But, I could never get the full feeling of feeling satisfied every time I click the button “Publish Post”.

Then, I moved to blogspot, which is and was my alma meter before I decided on using wordpress.

I felt that I could release my emotional things more in blogger compared to wordpress just because.

Don’t ask what’s the reason, I haven’t the slightest clue either.

But it just feels so right, get what I mean?

Now, here’s the dilemma. I have both wordpress and blogger accounts, and I really REALLY don’t want to delete any one of them because I find them both convenient to use. Not xanga, because it sucks for me. Seriously. How do you guys use xanga!? It’s like a maze in there!

Since I like posting so much in blogger, I’ll remain that. And also, I’ll retain my wordpress account. I’m not going to blog emotional and random things in here. Instead, I’ll just.. write short stories? I know, it’s not my norm, but one of my new year’s resolutions was to actually make a short story.

Stay tuned. You may like what’s coming up in the next post. This blog has yet to see potential 😉

Dear midterms,

Please be good to me.

 

Okay? 😉

Dear friend.

I haven’t been in your position before, so do forgive  me if what I say hurts you.

Why do you think suicide is your only way out of your problems? Suicide isn’t what you think it is. Problems are actually challenges that are given to us by God. And you do believe in him, right? So don’t do anything irrational. I know you used to think that people who commit suicide are stupid, but after being in their shoes, you now know how it is like.

Well, you don’t.

Have you thought about what would happen after you commit suicide? I don’t think so.
Have you thought about your friends? About what they would do? You do have friends, for Christ’s sake. Don’t think of them as people who backstabbed you. Sure, we do make mistakes, but you’ll forgive a friend if they’re willing to forgive all of your mistakes, no matter what it is. I have, plenty of times. Sure, you don’t see it, but you feel it.

Have you thought about your family? About their reactions?
Sure, you might scoff at it, saying,”It’s not like they’re gonna care, right? Pscht.”
I’ve thought of suicide before. And people close to me have, too. When they were talking about it, I felt as if they were stupid. And it’s such a waste of life. Not because you think you don’t matter to them. You do. If not, what would you be doing here? If they don’t like you, they would have kicked you out from your home already, or send you to the orphanage. Trust me, I have heard of stories like that. Your family members do love you, but they’re just not showing it.

Have you thought about your future?
You might say,”Future? Do I even have one?” Sure you do!
What was your dream? Or is it still your dream?
I remember your dream is to be a successful businesswoman. And I support you in it, 100%.  But you destroying your own dreams? Uh-uh. Not in that, sweetheart.
You’re gonna have a family in the future, and be pretty successful in your work life and marriage life. Do you want to just let it all go like that? And is it even worth it?

I’m not saying that you should just give up because of your troubles now. Just accept them as challenges. Even though you’re gonna say,”Screw this shit,” but don’t we all have challenges in life?

Jesus is our protector, but He lets us learn by going through our own challenges so that we know our mistakes and can fix ourselves.

Remember this; a life can be easily taken away, but have you thought about the benefits of taking your own life?

Would you rather face and learn from your mistakes, or run away from them?
I know, that you would face and learn from them, not run.

But if you did choose the latter, I would say, I’m very disappointed in you for making such a stupid decision.

 

As taken from my blogger site.

Sneak peek

Just a little sneak peek of what I did during my casting session with my friend.

Stay tuned! :p

To you;

Ever since we broke off, I kept telling you go to find a new girl. Oddly, it never hit me that you would find a new replacement fast.

Even though you had found my replacement, you don’t have to tell me everything about her. About how she crinkles her goddamn nose and she looks cute like that, or how she sounds when she wakes up. I get it. And it only adds salt to the wound.

I guess I wasn’t good enough for you, eh? And we were not really that good together anyways.

But hey, you made me realize something. You made me realize what an asshole you are. And that truly, was an eye opener for me.

Who the fuck, screams at people for no reason? Or better yet, blame them for things they didn’t even do or know about it?

You do.

And when I do that, I get screamed at instead, And then we start fighting, again. Doesn’t it tire you?

I guess it does.It tires me out like nobody’s business. But don’t you ever know when to give up? I don’t think so.

So here’s my final letter to you, after being with you for 5 months, and for being in an off and on relationship for 3 months.

I guess we weren’t just compatible, eh? We were like two same jigsaw puzzles. Yes, you were there when I needed comfort. But were your words comforting?

No. They weren’t. They made me feel worst instead. And throughout the entire relationship, I felt like I was choking. It was a constant struggle between peace and war. One moment we’d be holding hands and laughing at silly jokes, the next we’d be fighting about what one of us spoke about. You think it’s amusing when I speak sarcastically? Well, aren’t you being clever. At least you don’t understand some of my insults.

Yes, I’ll admit. You’re caring, and protective. But you’re only good as a friend, not a lover. And even though you’re going to hate me for typing this, guess what, big guy? I. Don’t. Care. Straight up. And you have mood swings. Like a bitch. Everyone has that, I’ll agree. But yours is more exaggerated than others. So I don’t want to watch a movie with you or have to cancel last minute on you because of personal reasons. You show your temper. But you always follow me when I go shopping because “I don’t want you to go alone,” and when I tell you not to, you show your temper.

I’m not complaining to the world about your flaws, I’m just merely blogging about why we weren’t compatible.

But I guess you won’t care about this, eh? Since you got yourself a new girlfriend  the same day you told me you moved on, I stopped hoping on you. Maybe some day you’ll look back and think of me, but I sure as hell won’t because, you’re an ass.

There are so many vulgar words I’d like to tell you straight to your face, but you’ll just twist and turn it. So what’s the point? I don’t see any reason of us getting back together anymore.

And I wish you all the best in your new relationship, you asshole.

WordPress.com News

A few months ago we added Notifications to the WordPress.com Toolbar and recently we released a Chrome extension so that you can always keep up with the activity on your blog. Today we’re adding comment notifications, complete with comment moderation and reply functionality.  When your post receives a comment, you’ll get a Notification that looks something like this:

If you’re using threaded comments, you’ll see if someone responded directly to you, right in the notification.

You will see Approve, Spam, and Trash links in your comment notification if you have permission to moderate comments, allowing you to moderate the comment from within the notification:

Clicking Reply automatically approves a comment and displays an area for you to type a reply in. When you’re done, just click Reply and you can get back to whatever you were working on, without having to navigate to the dashboard to manage your comments.

View original post 32 more words

Memories.

Hello, world! Did you miss me? I did, but I didn’t manage to have the time to blog about the recent happenings in my life.

So, Chinese New Year just ended, and I’m surprised to say that I received the most ang pao money this year compared to the other 17 years of my life. You see, according to tradition, the older one is, the lesser ang pao money they are suppose to receive. But maybe it was because I added the winnings of the gambling game I had with my relatives. Hmm. Either way, it’s still a lot of money, and I’m not complaining about it! 🙂

When I was at my uncle’s place, my aunt brought out photographs of us in Bangkok and we looked through every single on of them thoroughly, as to check and point out our flaws in the photos. Whilst chortling and teasing those in the photographs, a sudden thought went through my mind; what if we were just a fragment of everyone’s lives? I mean, sure, we all are living things, so we can’t really be considered as a fragment nor be called one. But what if we just passed through people’s minds? One moment we really do matter to them, and the next, we mean nothing at all? What if we were just a fragment of their memory?

Sometimes when I see people at printing shops holding photos that has just been printed out, chortling and pointing at the photos, I would stop for a while and wonder; would they still remember the person in the photo that they had captured in say, maybe 10, 20 years’ time? Or would they ponder upon it and give up if it’s too hard of a task for them? Or would the frozen images in the photograph make them smile and reminisce about those good old times you once had? Not to mention, would it make you wonder about what were they doing  at that exact moment? Or even to call them and surprise them?

Whenever I look at old photos of my parents and of me and my brother when we were growing up, I would point at some random person and ask my mum, “Hey, who’s this? Have we met this person before?” My mum would give the same answer,”Yes, but you were just a baby that time. You wouldn’t remember their faces, what more their names,” Heck. I’ve seen the faces of so many people in my parents’s photo album but I’ve never ever seen them in real life nor have my parents even called them to ask about their lives now, let alone visit them.

So, I hope that whenever I glance down at this photo in the future, I’ll still be in touch with her.

Dear C,

I know you’ve gone through so much hardship back last year, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you all the time. Even though we lived so close but yet we don’t often go out much, which pretty much sucks because knowing both of us, we can never stop talking if we hung out all day. And the shopping, can get pretty crazy. You’ll always be my best criticizer, no matter in what I do, and I’m proud to say that you’re my best friend. No matter what people think of you, screw that shit because we both know that we cannot satisfy everyone’s needs. Enjoy Sydney, and I know you’ll make it through and get that double degree. I have confidence in you!

Even though I won’t be able to hang out with you every week or so, but hey, there’s still skype, right? I’ll definitely call you to update you about every single thing. And it’s been so long since we’ve met, right? Primary school! That’s a pretty long time ago.. Heck, it’s been 9 years since we’ve been together as friends, and we’ll count many more years together, right? Throughout thick and thin we still stayed together as friends, and I’m sorry if I ever neglected you during those times when you needed a shoulder to cry on.

I’ll definitely miss you. And no, I won’t forget you, because you’re simply irreplaceable in my heart.

And sometimes,

I wish you can really read my mind.

You just have no idea how much this is killing me, seriously.